amaryllis

By Jake Price

the idea of eternity petrifies me

the concept of heaven is my hell

a never-ending consciousness and an achingly constant constant

even eternal happiness must grow stale

perpetual joy must be pierced with resentment or

slashed with restlessness or stabbed with

judgement

and i might be the one holding the knife

the air in heaven shimmers around the blade shaking in my hands

and golden blood pools at the pearly gate

i did it God, i did it, it was me

please

let me die